“My key to dealing with stress is simple: Just stay cool and focused” – Ashton Eaton
You’ve dreamt of your wedding day since you were little. You and your friends would play dress ups in white sheets, carrying a bunch of fake flowers stolen from your Mum’s vase in the wall unit, and you walked down the aisle humming “Dah dum da dum” to meet your friends brother or a stuffed toy at the end. You pretended to be announced as Husband and Wife to the Barbies and Glow Bugs watching on, and you live happily ever after.
Fast forward to now, and that little girl is all grown up. She’s not wearing a white sheet, probably looking at more Grace Loves Lace or the like, but the man or woman at the end of the aisle is your happily ever after. You’ve met, fallen in love, become engaged and now, your ready to get married. Before you walk down the aisle though, there are a myriad of choices to make. You’re quickly learning that everyone has an opinion on what you should and shouldn’t be doing, if the shade of white you’ve chosen is too white, your invite wording sounds strange or you haven’t included your childhood neighbour on the guestlist. Staying focused should be your number one focus.
So let’s stop; take a breath and refocus, and hopefully these tips will help you with that.
1. Prioritise – Work out what you BOTH want, what are non-negotiables, and prioritise according to that. It could be an amazing photographer, an abundance of flowers at the reception or the dream celebrant that you’ve always wanted. If that’s the case, you need to work these out as other areas might have to take a hit to compensate for that.
2. Trust – We tell our couples this all the time; Trust your gut! If you have a gut feeling that something, or someone, isn’t right for you, then go with that feeling, because 9 times out of 10, it will be right. Don’t choose a vendor because they’re currently on trend, choose them because they make you feel comfortable, because this will shine through on your day.
3. Own It – Don’t go with trends that just aren’t you. If you both love the beach, go with this; if you love native flowers, rock them; or if you love black, wear a black dress! Don’t get blindsided by the latest trends because at the end of the day, your wedding should represent you both as a couple.
4. Eliminate – So you liked something, pinned it, then changed your mind? No problems, but remove the pin. Don’t get distracted by it again, you’ve made the choice, now eliminate it and move on. Trust us, this is hard but you will be thankful for this one!
5. Embrace – Lean on those close to you to discuss and ask for their opinions, but also remember that they have other stuff going on too. Embrace their opinions and dissect as need be, after all, it is only an option they are providing you with.
6. Love – Remember why you are planning a wedding to start with, because your fiancé proposed to you, because they love you. They love you when you are stressing over the font on a personalised welcome sign; they love you when you are crying because your photographer hasn’t replied to your email you sent 12 hours ago; they love you because you have an unhealthy addiction to Pinterest; but most importantly, they love you for you. Remember to regroup with your fiancé and have wedding free nights every now and then to discuss other things going on in life.
7. Ask – Lastly, when it all gets too much and you’re losing focus, lean on your vendors for help. This isn’t just our job, but our passion, so we speak on behalf of most vendors that we will have the answer to your question. And there is no such thing as a dumb question.
Hopefully these tips will be able to help you focus back on your wedding, when the distractions are getting too much.
Amy + Sara